How to Protect Yourself and Your Family from Gaslighting

Gaslighting, is becoming increasingly prevalent in today’s society.

This insidious form of psychological manipulation occurs on both a personal and societal level.

Let’s explore what it is and what you can do to protect yourself and your loved ones. 

At its core, gaslighting is a deliberate attempt to distort someone’s sense of reality, causing them doubt their own perceptions, memories, and even sanity.

It ranges from outright denial of certain events to subtle manipulation of facts and information.

Here are six examples: 

“You always screw things up, it’s a good thing I’m here to help you.”
“I’m not cheating, you’re just paranoid.”
“It’s not that bad, it’s all in your head.”
“I only did it because I love you.”
“You made me do this.”
“You’re too sensitive.” 

Unchallenged, believing such statements will eventually:

1 ) Undermine your confidence in your own thoughts and feelings
2 ) Lead to a state of confusion and disorientation

Gaslighting can occur in any kind of relationship:

→ Friendships
→ Romantic partners
→ Religious communities
→ Workplace relationships
→ Parent-child relationships
→ Extended family relationships 

The abuser may use a variety of tactics to control the victim, such as dismissing their concerns, lying to them, or blaming them for problems in the relationship.

It can even lead to physical abuse as the victim becomes more isolated and vulnerable to the abuser’s control. 

On a societal level, gaslighting occurs when powerful individuals or groups manipulate the truth to suit their own agendas.

It can be particularly insidious, as it can shape the beliefs and perceptions of entire communities, leading to a widespread distortions of reality. 

Societal gaslighting can look like:

→ Propaganda
→ Disinformation
→ Misinformation
→ Propagation of false narratives
→ Censorship of dissenting voices
→ Spreading of fear and intimidation
→ Other forms of psychological manipulation 

How do you protect yourself from gaslighting on both the personal and societal levels?

Here are five key steps that can be taken: 

First, speak only what is true.

Tell the truth regardless of cost or consequence, ESPECIALLY TO YOURSELF!

Radical honesty is not something that comes natural for a lot of folks.

To honestly speak your mind and describe your reality is something you can learn to do. 

Second, trust your own perceptions and instincts.

And teach your children to do the same.

As the great Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, said: “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. 

Third, seek and provide honest input and feedback.

Trustworthy friends and family members are invaluable.

Even one honest friend can provide a life saving reality check and offer a eminently useful perspectives. 

Fourth, maintain in yourself and build in your children a strong sense of self-worth.

Particularly, setting boundaries and communicating needs helps to mitigate the effects of gaslighting.

This makes it less likely one will internalize the negative messages being conveyed. 

Fifth, remain vigilant and skeptical of information presented by those in power.

Seek out alternative information sources.

Don’t accept things at face value.

Engage in critical thinking. 

In conclusion, gaslighting is a more and more pervasive form of psychological abuse that occurs on both personal and societal levels.

By taking these five steps you can protect yourself and others from it’s damaging effects. 

1 ) Be honest
2 ) Trust yourself
3 ) Get honest input
4 ) Build a strong self worth
5 ) Cultivate a healthy skepticism 

Are you seeing an increase in gaslighting going on? If so, how so?